The Buddha In The Storm
One day some years ago I asked myself, what would the enlightened version of me look like? I imagined another version of me in a Buddhist monks robes, sitting down meditating in front of a white picket fence with a tornado raging around me.
Despite that tornado being there and being very capable of killing me, this Enlightened version of me just sat there calm as anything, meditating.
Now I have already mentioned this Buddha in the storm in this post but this superpower is just to great not to share again.
You see, I actually forgot he was still there. After all these years, and all the storms, he’s still there, meditating, still, calm, enlightened.
I’ve been trying to improve my self again lately and I feel like this is the first time it’s actually working because for the first time I’m focusing on the processes and not the end goals.
This blog is one of those processes and another is sleep hygeine, or getting up and going to bed at the same time every day. Everyday I’m making sure I’m in bed by 10PM and getting up at 4AM. Today was THE day that I just wanted to go back into bed and sleep for as long as possible.
I have a day job so ‘as long as possble’ would have meant getting up at 7am which would have been a 3 hour lye in. Let me tell you, I REALLY wanted to just get back into bed and go to sleep. But with Gods help I was able to stay out of bed and start my day.
A not so routine morning.
A mini workout and then a shower. The water was hot, which at 4:30am isn’t what usually happens. I got happy but then I remembered I was trying to get into the habit of taking cold showers, so, VERY reluctantly, I turned the dial around.
I carried on with the shower washing my hair and beard and trying to remember Wim Hoffs breathing methods but probably looking more like a woman in labour and then I remembered, I was supposed to start meditating again.
I was actually trying to avoid meditation recently because historically when I get spiritual is when I tend to lose my focus and eventually my sanity. But at the same time lately my ability to deal with stress has been getting lower and lower.
Remembering the Buddha
It was at this moment, just as I was trying to meditate under the stream of what felt like ice cold water (definitely was in the lower single digits centigrade), that I remembered The Buddha in the storm.
I was delighted! Now I finally have a method that will allow me to learn to relax under the tap in the cold. I simply focus on the Buddha in the storm and channel his energy realising at least temporarily, that he, is me.
There I stood, for what must have been just a few minutes, meditating under the cold water at 4:30am. The water still felt cold and I still breathed like a woman in labour from time to time but the more I focused on the Buddha the more I was able to relax. I calmed my breathing right down and actually focused on the sensations of the ice cold water on my body without (in any large way) reacting to it.
This was too good to be true, but it was happening anyway. I was actually controling my mind for the first time in ages!
Once I got out of the shower and was drying myself off in my room I made a decision. No food, no coffee, nothing but water for the day. There have been many times where I’ve told myself I’m not going to spend money today, or I’m not going to eat outside of my meal times and I’ve kep failing but this is all because of me not controlling my mind.
I don’t need to eat today. I’m not going to die from skipping food for one day. People have water fasted for weeks before and not only survived but benefitted from it, so lets see how the day goes. Will I suceed this time?
I’ll update this article tonight with what happens.
The Updates:
So how did my day go? Lets look at my journal.
14:49:
Somethings happening. Like when I started taking cold showers and pushing through the discomfort or when I started going through my mini workoout this morning despite really REALLY not wanting to!
It’s a feeling of power or self control, or a slight increase in confidence in myself. I’ve been getting headaches perhaps from the 2 litres off coffee leaving my body and I’ve obviously been getting lots of cravings especially when someone at work was kind enough to bring in fresh hot samosas that for some reason smelt like KFC.
There were a few moments when I felt like I was going togive up and some moments where I almost did but I kept remembering that I actually told myself this morning that I wouldn’t and all the times I’ve failed in the past so I told myself I can’t just keep failing anymore. I need to have a win for once.
So, for now at least. I’m still on the water fast. We’ll see how the rest of the day goes.
16:46:
Craving food. Headaches still annoying me. Still wanting to quit but then remembering my why and pushing on through. Not looking forward to going home because I’ll have 4 more hours with myself to battle against the cravings XD.
18:50:
Came home over an hour ago and just been distracting myself unproductively by watching random videos on youtube as well as the sequel to The Accident Man. Stomachs hurting a little presumably because of the acid that hasn’t got any food to digest. Oh well. Need to stop crying lone wolf and man the fuck up!
Time to put some work in and stop wasting time. Going to work on some blog posts and then update this article before I start getting ready for bed.
Viking music is helping (I love viking music!)
19:27:
Working on another article for my blog. DAMN this feels so much better than just sitting around watching a movie. I’m working on progress and that means I’m moving forward. It feels easier to avoid food now, I’m almost not thinking about it. Just looked at my bottle of water and didn’t even feel the need to drink that.
21:03:
Going to start getting ready for bed soon so final update. Actually managed to get through the day without food or fluids except water. Haven’t drunk any water either since the last update. Feel ok to behonest. Slight headace but thats about it.
There were actually many times today when I had to turn to the Buddha in the storm but mostly just to resist the urge to eat. This isn’t because it was hard to avoid eating but because I’ve allowed myself to get so weak by giving into impulsive and emotional eating for so long that when I eat it’s almost subconcious.
It’s habitual and that’s what I need to change. Today, it was the Buddha in the storm that helped me along with some Viking music. Like I mentioned before, if I keep working on me everyday, I’ll get more wins than losses and that equals progress.
Conclusion, I DID IT!
I did it! A one day water fast might be small potatoes for some, but for me it’s progress and all progress should be celebrated. I finally feel like I’m starting to learn how to hold the reigns of my life and take control.
It’ll never quite be a straight line but like I mentioned before, so long as I keep trying everyday I’ll gain more wins than losses and that’s how progress is made and battles are won!
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